I know several women that have read this book and they all have different opinions about it and how it has affected them. So as I sit here thinking to myself about it and how it has affected me I thought that I would put it into words, if not for those of you out there that read my blog for myself so that I will always remember how I felt.
This book for me was a little bit of a self awakening. I went through a period after my divorce that I like to call my self discovery phase. I had to find out who I was and who I wanted to be. After being a relationship that steals your identity you have to find out who you have become because of those experiences. I am not sure if the post divorce version of Abbie is better or worse than the pre divorce version but I do know that I am a much different person.
After reading this book and reflecting back on my marriage and the events that led up to my divorce and the divorce itself I can understand the authors need to go on this trip. If I had been able to make a such a journey after mine, I like to think that I would have had the courage to do it. I know that not everyone has the need to rediscover themselves after such a heartbreak, however going through that rediscovery is one of the hardest things that I have ever done. I didn't realize how much of myself I had lost until I was actually divorced and looking at myself in the mirror thinking that I didn't even know what do to now that he was no longer a part of my life even though I was better off having ended the marriage. The author makes some very valid and important points that really hit home to me while I was reading the book. The one that really sticks out in my mind and I keep thinking about it and realizing how lucky I am that I did not have any kids with my ex-husband is when she quotes her sister saying "Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face, you really need to be certain it is what you want before you commit." I do want a family, and I am sure that when the time is right I will have my chance, until then, I will be patient. I am forever grateful to my ex and his family for the wonderful things that they brought into my life. For the love that they shared with me and for the changes that happened inside of me because we got married. I do not regret the decisions that I made and hope that I never will.
This life is full of decisions, and with each of those there are consequences to our actions. All that we can do is make the best of every situation. Love with all of your heart, even though it may get broken, it is the only way to love. Remember that no one is perfect, you have to have room for error, we are only human and that means that we get our feelings hurt and we don't always say the right thing but we are trying the best that we can. And when the chips are down and life feels like it just never going to get better, when everything is falling apart around you, that is when you discover who truly loves you, because those people will rally around you and do anything with in their power to help you put your life back together and move on. So I will leave you with a few quotes from the book, make of it what you will but try to look at it through the eyes of a woman who has been through some of the greatest pain you can imagine and she came out the other side willing to pick up the broken pieces of her life and put it back together the best way she knew how.
"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it." - Elizabeth Gilbert
"Tis' better to live your own life imperfectly than to imitate someone else's perfectly."
-Elizabeth Gilbert
"There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts."
-Elizabeth Gilbert
"We search for happiness everywhere, but we are like Tolstoy's fabled beggar who spent his life sitting on a pot of gold, under him the whole time. Your treasure--your perfection--is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the buy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart."
-Elizabeth Gilbert
10 years ago
